I'm so bored and have no one to sexy text
Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
census says that i am hotter than the girl you just left with...sad for you
At the Phils game. My gay buddy just wanted up to a bunch of Mets fans and said "I'm gay, and even I think Mets fans are a bunch of fags." I love this fuckin town.
Remember how we wr so drunk last nite we cldnt find whr i shot my load? ...found some of it.
i think he drugged the pie. i'll get back to you on that later.
true friends will drive 3 hours to come smoke a couple blunts with you on the bridge where your car broke down
If you do that, i will make all sorts of uncomfortable comments about my nipples being soft
I immediately retract my statement involving hylecopters being allowed to blow up sharks out of the water.... The idea if it is super incredible but ultimately it would be cruel and unessesary
She pinched my nipples out of nowhere as I was about to come... I think I found god
dude, she has my telletubby sweats and my good sweatshirt hostage, I can't risk their safety with a breakup
Duck, Duck, Goose is now the autocorrect, safe for work version of fuck, fuck, loose.
Nah, just stick him in a closet with some cheetos, a blunt and soda. The darkness will calm him down until Mallory can be located.
We found him. He just came running out of the closet with a bruise on his face saying he has been fighting elves in Narnia for a year.
Our livers get a hall pass for 2020, right?
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