My ass is singing 4 different tunes right about now... Taco Bell was a bad idea!
So you walked 4 miles to get home but stopped by the store first to get a vegetable tray? How drunk were you?
My sister came home, pulled two nalgene bottles of jaeger-bomb out of the fridge, changed out her 3 inch heels for 6 inch heels and left in under 3 minutes. I've never been more proud of her.
Dude. All those hangovers I never had came back with a vengeance. I just opened the door of this car to barf. The car was not motionless. We are on the autobahn.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
every Thursday i draw one of my friends names out of a hat to choose who i will drunkenly text all weekend
Oh my god. I just realized something amazing. If I get pregnant with a boy, that technically means I have a penis right??????
She licked EVERYTHING then yelled at me in Spanish. I just kept saying SI.
I might as well rub my vagina against it before I throw it away.
THEY AREN'T MARRIED. PUT ON YOUR HOMEWRECKING PANTIES AND GET TO WORK. NO EXCUSES.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
Well now you know my birthday fantasy: gangbang consisting of men wearing NPR pledge t-shirts.
I'm sorry for what I said when I was orgasming
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
Sitting on couch, workout sex makes me more sore than regular workout
Your friend was nice but you didn't have to bang her in my kitchen...just sayin.
Randomize