hey no worries the mystery has been solved- i jst sneezed and my undies popped outta my nose.
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
I feel like a squirrel prepping for the winter on dollar beer nights.
Don't lose. A little bit of my soul dies every time a beer pong game is lost.
Also since my birthday I've on average fucked a new guy every 12.5 days. I'm doing an excel spreadsheet
If you take a couple more shots you won't even know he's a mormon that drives a mini van.
last night on the strip the guy screamed at you YOU GOTTA WORK ON YOUR CALVES.
We're super invested in me shitting to my full potential
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
We walking to the game and some random guy came up to to me and yelled "hey you're the whiskey guy!" And then high fived me then walked away
So you think Jesus would be proud of me for walking of shame into my apartment 10 minutes before I told my parents I'd be over for Easter?
So my balls are accidently making an appearance on snapchat
I have a hunchback of notre dame journal from when I was 6 wherein sits a diary entry that reads "saw liar liar today. Carrey's best yet" and that's all.
She told me I’m a “stunt cock.” I’m okay with that
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
Randomize