it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
Apparently I kept telling the bartender that I was going to set the Guinness World Record.
so I'm in athletic shorts, a suit jacket and I'm still drunk at 6:30am at the last leg of relay for life
His sister just told me that she thinks i'm a stupid bitch and that by going thru with this I'm ruining his life.
sounds like a hell of a rehearsal dinner
His penis was definitely too big to be the type that wants commitment. Shit.
I just walked by a party bus on my way to study. God hates me.
I demand visitation hours with the duck.
yes, i was eatting raw cookie dough and fingering myself at the same time.... is there a problem?
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
She licked my face when I was on the phone with a customer and I just laughed. Im not sure if thats good or bad
i think i just encouraged him to glue googly eyes to my boobs
P.S. If you wake up before noon it still counts as morning sex
If he can't cook well I'm just gonna buy a RealDoll and twenty cats and live my own fucking life
I feel like a girl who eats her problems away with fast food.
When all else fails, you can always look down at your enormous penis.
It's Valentine's Day, I figure for sure we'll have sex today, right? Wrong. I tried unsuccessfully for like an hour to get him to fuck me. Now he's asleep and I'm on my way to join the public library.
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