So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
i'd rather walk the sahara in a snuggie with no water than take a bicycle cab
New rule: no balls on the kitchen counter.
Just because i have a masturbation problem doesnt mean you can put 20 photos of Jesus in my room.
just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
So I just chugged the rest of the wine in my mug so I would have something to eat my corn flakes in. With a plastic fork. I need a dishwasher
And maybe a life coach?
Well that's another check off the sexual bucketlist of things I never wanted to experience.
I just watched Matt try to put on a pillowcase thinking it was a t-shirt.
We are all yelling at the cat at our apt in nothing but our underwear. How do you think it's going.
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
I made a nest in his bed. I'm not leaving
just creeped your profile pictures and you should feel satisfied in knowing that you had great eyebrows even before people started drawing them on
He apologized for cumming on my leg, but not for ghosting me for 3 weeks before :(
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
Randomize
