Whoa Z and x make the same sound
Honey, If i waited till marriage I wouldnt know what a dick tasted like.
he just sent me a friend request on facebook. i wish it were physically possible to vomit on him through the internet.
Considering that my ex-wife dumped me to become a lesbian, the Universe owes me a threesome.
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
it's like iHOP with fire
Bank of America texted me 7 times in 12 hours to say my balance was below $50. I kept transfering money back in. Then I texted my bank saying that it was okay, i knew what I was doing.
you left a note on your car that said " please dont tow, im to drunk to drive. safety first!"
They have beer in plastic boots. How am I supposed to resist that?
Had sex and ran 2.8 miles all before 7:30am. This is going to be a very productive Monday.
She ran over a curb, took out a yard-sale sign and hit a fence before admitting to me that she may be losing her vision "a bit". Never letting grandma drive again.
Me hangover (as projected). That sounds like a plan. Ill do it for Mexico
You are the funniest drunk Jew I know. Never in my life have I witnessed someone respond, "Is your dick kosher?" while being picked-up on.
she grabed my junk and started making lightsaber noises
I wonder if you could get her in a metal bikini
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
Randomize
