I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
i am only reminding you that showing off your fellatio skills on vegetables is probably not an appropriate party trick
Drunken horseback riding is the absolute worst decision i've ever made in my life.
Just learned the hard way that dicks can bruise the back of your throat to the extent that you cant eat. You're dead to me.
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
she texted me out of nowhere. and I wanted to get drunk. like I didn't even have her new number until 6 hours ago and bam we were rolling around drinking cotton candy vodka from the bottle she had stuffed in a boot
Ok! I picked up an anti-celebratory bottle of champagne on the way to dinner for her going to rehab. That's how I feel about this...
It was fun, but I mean, any day that starts with shower tequila is bound to be good.
he told me he was a Boston Bruins fan so I took his hat into the bathroom and peed in it...I've never been a prouder Ranger fan
So update from last night: I made friends with a coke dealer, I tore the card scanner off the wall of my dorm, and I passed out on our bathroom counter with my head in the sink.
THINK! exactly how many raw eggs did you color and hide in my apt.
He asked me if I've ever had my ass ate and there was no polite way to say yeah your brother's pretty in to that 😂 I went with "no"
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
Randomize
