Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
the fundamentals of my vasectemy are strong
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
Somehow I managed to make my Dunkin Donuts uniform look slutty. And I'm not even wearing hoops.
Tell her you can forgive her unacceptable behavior because her dad and his dog weren't married when they conceived her.
Mattress luging...It's a long story.
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
And then I learned that we are dating when I said it's out of line to bring fuck buddies home to meet the parents. And then I was single.
If I have to give a UPS guy a lap dance, you owe me a drink.
Hey. My eyes swollen shut and I can't find my shoes. How was your night?
Just go read my twitter... There's a play by play. It starts with a penis pump
I woke up knowing I have nowhere to be today except parties and it was glorious and I am so happy
I walked so much yesterday and I was like holy fuck I need to do some cardio apart from sex cause this is ridic
So if he doesn't show up do we eat his birthday cake? Because I'm stoned and wrestling is on. What's the proper protocol
Randomize
