wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
the only evidence i have from this weekend existing is a title page for a novel i tried writing called "the oyster who gave up drinking"
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
Who the fuck did i sell my right shoe to last night i need to get that back im not walking with one shoe on
We dropped so many bottles they would only give us plastic cups. We actually drank ourselves back to preschool.
So after tonight I now have 6 Harry Potter movies left to get laid to. Before tonight it was 8. Fucking right
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
Virginity is like the pottery barn-you break it, you bought it.
Thanks....I've always wanted my vagina compared to an overpriced coffee table
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
We could have a classy candlelight sonic dinner with fireball cocktails if you leave now. Twat tickler centerpieces.
You blacked out at 9:30 and insisted on sleeping in the hallway after you chugged an entire pitcher of beer. I guess the Jell-O shots were stronger than we thought...
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
He passed out while I was riding him but stayed hard long enough for me to orgasm. He definitely earned the blow job I’m going to wake him up with in the morning!
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