Make note: the first date is too soon to make the "condoms are only for making balloon animals" joke.
Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
my dad brought home flowers.. so i started talking to them
i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night
no, that is not a typo
i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday
Out of all the things I've put my penis in, this seems the most unfortunate.
A 300 lb dude in a sundress yelling bible verses while wearing a raggedy anne wig is just as funny as I thought it would be. Thank you san francisco.
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
And by "got a tattoo" i mean i got a tattoo in the dorm bathrooms with a guy using his cousin's tattoo gun.
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
So high I started thinking my desktop picture of a cat was too erotic for the workplace.
I'm not finished with being a sloppy white girl alcoholic. I didn't postpone having a husband and kids for sober weekends.
I'm gonna try and get through this weekend sober, which is gonna be tough especially since I've already started drinking.
We were so amazed while watching mission impossible ghost protocol last night we didn't even have sex
He ate me out on the front lawn of the post office. The people in the office across the road definitely got a show!
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