oh man you're gonna hate me when you log onto facebook. remember i love you
Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
remember that time that crown gas station wouldn't sell us a lighter so we had to use matches and birthday candles to smoke with a toilet paper roll? sometimes i miss high school
Seriously. Destroy her vagina. Do it like an angry baboon mating with a gentle manatee.
Hey bro u need to come home now, me and andy just had a 15 minute conversation about fig newtons. f this bong
Dude, we're at Einstein's Bagels and the dude next to us is spreading cannabutter on his bagel.
you just kept yelling "siddle that plaza" til the cab driver said it back...
You stumbled in at 10am, half-clothed and still drunk from last night and yelled "well, its not called a walk of pride!", then passed out on the couch.
He brought wine and beer. I'll put my pants on for wine and beer.
Sorry I need more motivation then McDonalds and mojitos.
And then we can spend New Year's Day sprawled across the tiles watching greys anatomy and puking into the bushes over the balcony. It'll be great
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
Get off me. I'm done. I want a cookie.
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
Also mom is not happy about me telling her how much i want the women sprinters on the Olympics to beat me up
Randomize