O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
I'm really tired of your booty call eating my fruity pebbles.
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
He brought wine and beer. I'll put my pants on for wine and beer.
The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
I've just informed her that you've voted her Chief-Adult-In-Charge-Of-Shit and that she will take the oath of office on Fri Dec 14th at 8 pm with her hand on a bottle of Jager.
I don't want a baby! I JUST WANT AN ORGASM THAT ISN'T SELF INFLICTED.
Let's just say that in a last ditch effort to avoid getting arrested I said to the cop "but I'm not even that drunk" and he proceeded to point out (in front of a crowd) that I had "fucking pissed my pants"
I like how she'll post a picture on Instagram with her boyfriend and 2 hours later you'll send me a snap of her panties on your rear view mirror
If I don't get alcohol poisoning from tonight I don't think i ever will.
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