why didn't you poke me back
I drank like a thousand beers last night and my poo is solid, not gross like usual. I think this means I've grown up.
windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude i just figured out that the tostitos sign is two people eating chips and salsa. being high totally pays off sometimes
I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
she brought my homemade cookies with condoms taped to the box... im in love
Just found dollar bills in my sheets. What part of the weekend am I forgetting?
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What is it with the dog running away when we have epic hangovers
17. The number of times my one night stand told me he loved me.
Driving home this morning in my minion costume makes me rethink the 0 tint on my windows.
Then we woke up and they shouted "Emergency Vodka!!" and that's how we got redrunk.
Oh good, bag of butt plugs is in my predictive text now
Typing the whole thing out was getting to be such a chore
Do u have any idea how hard it is to masturbate in a CVS bathroom when your name is being called over the speakers to pick up a prescription for painkillers?
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