Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
On a scale from 0 to 24...wait, 3 to 24, where 6 is the lowest and 12 is the highest, how freaking high re you right now?
Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
He just kept telling me how to do certain things. It was like I was fucking my sex ed teacher
you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
She always manages to outslut me. I can't keep up
Soooo how am i supposed to explain to my mom that i was admitted to the hospital but you kidnapped me within 20 minutes?
Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life.
this old dude from the bar is giving me a ride home in a van, his bumper sticker says " don't laugh your kids could be in here" scary world ou here
If you don't see me at the bar tomorrow night, I was most likely captured by the communists.
Hold on...did you Instagram a picture of you and your boyfriend while you were sending me dirty snapchats?
I get off at 11. but they've been letting me go early cuz I've been crying a lot
Just fantasized about my boss's fingers in a meeting. I desperately need to get some.
Sexting my TA in lecture = awesome
Why did u text me "I want to get drunk and go to pizza hut tomorrow. don't let me forget." at 3am??
That text was pretty fucking self-explanatory, man.
Randomize
