this girl just gave me her phone number and 5 mins later right in front of me she is giving her number to another dude
call her and ask her what she thinks she's doing
Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
you're dressed like that and you're on the rag, that's false advertisment
So I was just looking through the calendar on my phone seeing what day new years was on & on dec 31st at 9am it says "nude champagne toast". Guess we have to do it.
i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
She narrowed it down to 7 guys that could have gotten her pregnant.
My neighbor just watched me eat a granola bar without pants, this is a whole new level of unemployed
Don't mean to be rude. But did you, by any chance, cut down a tree from my neighbors backyard last night? And did you also drag it to my yard and burn it?
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
Never thought I'd say this but the maple syrup flavored vodka probably wasn't our best idea
CUT OFF ALL YOUR HAIR COME ON MAN LET'S DO THIS
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
I didnt know whether I was going to vomit or orgasm because I was feeling both sensations
Randomize
