omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
So, I'm pretty sure I just jacked off and my gf 17 m/o son caught me. IDK how long he was standing in the crib, but he definately saw the grand finale.
Just caught my bro jerking off to a lane Bryant catalog
do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
He kept spanking me and talking about biomedical science.
Aw, you fucked a pre-med? you're moving up in the world!
I feel like someone kicked me repeatedly in the ribs. I don't think sex is supposed to do that.
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I honestly think she should have her own reality show called "Lowering the Bar" and it consists of a camera crew following her from Bar to bar hooking up with unsuspecting drunk attractive men.
i told him I'd let him eat part of a weed cookie out of my cleavage, so he pulled over like a gentleman.
Oh I know babe. You're shining beacon of adult responsibility. That's why I go down on you.
I go down on you because abs
you bleached my bangs. i have an interview later today and you assholes bleached my bangs.
The FEDEX guy just cock blocked me by getting his van stuck in my driveway
I woke up with my winter coat on, next to a polaroid of me, her and a swan...so no I don't remember our conversation.
You know when you're a kid and you play at the pool until you passed out? It was like that except instead of playing it was sex.
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