Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
You say "arrested with two drunk girls" like it's a bad thing....
If my nicknames are based on what I throw up, you can call me Jimmy Johns
Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
Yes, but if I hadn't gotten here early, I never would have seen the butch lesbian midget waddling down stairs from the bar. Worth every minute of drinking alone.
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
The only way I'll cross anything off my to do list today is if I write 'eat melted cheese' on it
You're too drunk for my bullshit, and i'm too sober to put up with yours. I have no idea how you expect to find middle ground here.
I did way too many drugs this past week for having a broken nose #commitment
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
The good thing about country bars is that the men generally look like men. The bad thing is the country music.
EVEN AFTER ALL THAT COMPLAINING... STILL NO PENIS
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
Randomize
