Dude we need to petition the city about running buses later, none of my booty calls own cars
my dad just said 'either you're lying about your plans tonight or you kids are really lame nowadays'. maybe we should nix the singles saturday slumber party and go to a bar.
You texted the wrong number but that's probably the best call you'll ever make.
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
He kept insisting that I was going to have an orgasm but it just felt like he was rubbing sand paper on my vagina
I was still in a towel. We hadn't even started drinking yet and the champagne bottle dropped and exploded literally up into my vagina.
The landlord called, GOOD NEWS! Noise violation #2! Something about people singing and fighting with vodka bottles in the parking lot. Well done us.
I have come to the conclusion that my perfect boyfriend is a cardboard cutout of Link with a dildo attatched. Also, Merry Christmas.
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
Id prob hit it, but i instagram edited her picture to make her look better. Ha. She should fuck me just for that.
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
If he thinks I'm canceling my orgy to coddle his stupid fucking behavior, he has another thing coming
Randomize
