how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
duuuude. vodka popsicles DO NOT function.
I opened my browser to a doctor page titled "serious pain under left side of ribcage". Last night must have been healthy.
He legit asked if he could come over for a hug. I feel like I've been booty called by a 12 year old.
They drank shots out of my cleavage. Surprisingly, the one who did the best was a gay guy.
I've said it before and I'll say it again: your tits are a danger to gay men everywhere.
I feel a bullet train of disappointment headed in your direction.
I didn't just randomly come up with it. But if you want to give me extra credit for creativity I have a bare chest and chocolate sauce left
I don't mean to complain but you could have done a better job of keeping me alive last night
OH MY GOD I JUST WANT TO GO HOME AND FART ALL NIGHT.
No one should ever have to Neosporin their nipples. At least he apologized.
I asked her why she was drunkenly masturbating to Iron Man and all she replied was "Robert Downey Jr". As far as excuses go, that seemed pretty legit.
I know I've never told you this before.. but Gyro sauce makes everything okay.
I actually had to apologize for "being too aggressive about harry potter"
Hey.. Lock your door. There's a drunk girl walking around in here. She just came in my room and peed on my chair.
Randomize
