She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
just as they were cutting his pants off he made em stop & said "everyone knows about shrinkage right".
I gave you a 45 minute blowjob. You were inside me for 3 minutes. I'm going to need you to get your shit together.
Voted patient of the month again at the urgent care. I need to rethink my life choices.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I got us a lift home. Payment may require me giving road head, are you cool just chilling in the back seat pretending to be oblivious to this happening?
Sorry I missed your call. Have a great morning.
That is a horrible way of saying good morning to someone. You basically reminded me that we did not hook up yesterday. It's bad enough I got to go to work all day with blue balls.
I have a bruise on dick where you tried to "high five" me.
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
It'll be a pair of asscheeks that light up when they're summoned.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was an asshole the entire night and then tried to touch my dick in a Michaels craft store.
Sooooo, no second date?
Thanks for the Beyonce article. In other news, I just passed a man with the state of Florida tattooed on his face.
He got in a fight. Then called me drunk to see if he should bail his friends out, or walk through a Taco Bell drive-thru. True love.
I did cocaine with my cab driver all night. It was the best date.
I was at a hookups house and peed in his sink so I wouldn't wake up his mom... drunk me is on a different level
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
Randomize