Dude love is like an itch. You fuckin scratch it, then it itches more, then you scratch it and it itches more, and before you know it, there is semen everywhere.
you are insane
no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
It was my birthday today and i decided that i am not checking my notifications on facebook so ill feel popular
Wrong number and your a loser
you were licking his little sister's watercolors and trying to paint with your tongue.
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
But youre all cute and shit. Woo that cunt. And by cunt i mean strong independent woman
If you take a couple more shots you won't even know he's a mormon that drives a mini van.
Don't matter if she's straight, I'll get her. I'm not called The Transformer for nothing
i knew it was love when she pulled a beer out from between her boobs and offered it to me
As soon as I got there, you appeared out of no where, yelled "they're giving away free cigarettes!" in my face and then disappeared and I didn't see you the rest of the night.
My car has a permanent smell of sex to it now.
You got stoned and bought $300 worth of pudding. Again! Why do YOU think she left you?
I should stop using "Braveheart would do it" as a basis for decision making...
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
Randomize
