Apparently Chef Boyardee is the only guy I'm taking home tonight.
Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
I just wanna not walk straight. Is that too much to ask for?
porn star boner night. come get it.
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
Learned a valuable life lesson last night. It's titled "Tequila: Still A Bad Idea".
I will give you the couch, a small portion of the fridge, and plenty of beer.
Got my future figured out. I'm oddly comforted. Thanks, bro.
Ever since we've gotten back together, it's like the ghosts of booty call's past have been hitting me up. Lol.
Don't go to sleep yet I need your Mexican roots. Can you come make guacamole
I got with a bridesmaid and a server as well as put an $80 tab in rum and coke under the name Emerson Iglesias. Are you sure it wasn't my wedding?
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
I think I'm just gonna exercise my lungs and fingers. With bong hits and crochet. BECAUSE I AM A REAPONSIBLE ADULT DAMMIT!!
theres a canoe in our lawn. we dont own a canoe.
it was the only safe place
Randomize
