I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
No, I'm never going to get a job bc I don't know anything about public relations except that Chris Crocker wants everyone to leave Britney alone.
come home now. i got a twizzler tangled in my hair again
I feel like wearing underwear would just be poor planning
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
I just had a full choir singing the phrase pudding cup in my head. Too. Stoned.
Dating Detox Day 5: had to go out and buy new batteries. this may be harder than I thought
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
like stop just cause your whole life has been one enormous reject pile does not mean that i have to suffer too
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was so aggressive it felt like he was giving my boob a root cannal
Hey, scratch that. I've shit 8 times today. I don't have the energy to get laid so I cancelled my date.
"I feel morally obligated to vote for him since he's my drug dealers dad"
so horny i almost want to text him..and then i remember the restraining order i have against him
The waxing lady fingered me during my brazilian. 40 dollars well spent
I'm just really glad SD weather is so erratic so I can get away with wearing a scarf in May to cover up these hickeys.
Randomize