Let's make love on the newspapers that declare financial doomsday
omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
I feel like death. And death is wearing a fleece blanket as a dress. And is seriously contemplating wearing this to go get something to eat.
she just convinced the cop to buy us ice-cream sandwiches. best/worst stoned experience ever.
Remember that foreign guy who never talked last night? He just came out of my bathroom when I woke up.
Apparently I spent my 300 dollar tax return by ordering ramen on amazon last night. Please tell me this will somehow pay off in the long run.
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
your drunk ass trust falled a guy double fisting bud limes and as a result your head bounced off the patio table. So that might explain the stitches on the back of your head.
I love you, but it's "shark week" I'll make it up to you with naked breakfast.
I wore wrist and ankle weights while we had sex. Does that count as working out?
No. DON'T DO IT. Friends don't let friends fuck clowns.
He’s really fucking cute. Like, I want his penis in my mouth cute.
I drank beer out of a Frisbee and it was all downhill from there...
You know, I'm starting to enjoy brazilians. One day I'm going to make a therapist very very happy.
Randomize
