Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
My roommate and I had a nyquil contest. The nyquil won.
so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
Next weekend I am getting a library card and staying my whore ass home.
I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
you were crying while pretty ricky was playing, what did you want me to do
Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.
First funeral I've ever been to where the cops had to come.
Asking the cop for directions wearing a lion mask may not have been my best moment...
He asked me if I remembered touching his police badge. awk.
So I'm pretty sure I told every one at the party that "I'm going to fuck my pillow pets tonight?"
He wrote me a Haiku titled, "Let me touch your butt".
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
i look like i'm walk-of-shaming but i'm really showered and re-clothed and rallying. i fool everyone
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
Randomize
