The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
I just stuffed five dollars in my near empty box of camels to remind myself to buy more. And my mom says I don't budget my money
the guy at the pet shop just had an eye seizure while looking at my chest
Well he paid for dinner, so I paid for the Plan B, but the parking ticket I got is totally his responsibility.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Missed another period
I almost hope you're pregnant, this is unfair.
When I like her vacation photos, it really means "Im sleeping with your boyfriend." wonder if she will make the connection.
He went around feeding all the high kids pretzels. He's like their god now
I think I just inadvertently started a sex competition with my roommate and her boyfriend.
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
She keeps telling me I can't keep feeding the dog my food. I gave half the weed brownie to the dog and half to me. I just want it to taste the greatness of cheezits like I am.
He asked me what I wanted the cake to say and I then asked him if "I'm sorry for throwing up in your bed last night" was too long. He said it was...
Was she always missing a tooth or am I just now noticing it?
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
Your anal douche was on bathroom counter. Now it's in dumpster. Not ok. I am mad. Very mad.
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