Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
smell like capt'n and strawberry champagne
when you find your car can you pick me up? his mom is here and im hungover
can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've decided to bang my pen-pal.
Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
I hid 4 bags of cocaine in your house. Have fun finding them
i love how he claims to not know english but when i ask him to come over and fuck me he's all of a sudden fluent
I tried to discuss modern art with a cab driver after explaining that I only had one shoe on b/c a pitbull ate the other one. Wtf. Call me when you can.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I die young bury me in satin. And make sure there's a taco bar at my funeral.
got into a verbal altercation with Luke Harangoty last night over a table. Called him a cross-eyed fuck and got the table.
My vagina was just really confused why you weren't inside it
Drunk me really does appreciate that sober me made a list of movies to watch when drunk it saves so much time
When a guy asks for your ig but you already know his blood type, social security number, & mother's maiden name.
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
Randomize