I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
The last two calls in my phone are dominos and 911. I'm not sure how my night went.
17 year olds will be the death of me.
The voicemail says i shouldn't bother ever showing my face there again, i don't understand
We visited your boss last night. guess you wont be paying the rent this month, eh?
i cant wait to be back in my element of drunk, on a barstool, ive missed home
You know its been a rough night when for a large portion of the evening you have accepted your death
Yeah! I was just fired because there was an over hire and the new girl is hotter than me. Seeing as how the new girl is my baby sister I think punching my manager is excusable.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to iphone keyboard type "roflcopter" when intoxicated?
my vagina is starting to think like a penis, and I'm not even slightly worried
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
Him naked in my bed with a bottle of vodka in one hand, a pipe in the other, and a rose in his mouth.
Plan before tomorrows interview: wash off green glitter from EVERYWHERE!!!
woke up with 4 bruises, 2 hickies and a bad case of rug burn. texans are dangerous.
Her hot older sister walked in on us, looked me up and down, then stared straight at her and said "I call sloppy seconds on this one" then left. I'm still debating on how I feel about that.
Randomize
