his status popped up and said 'probably going to jail.' it took everything i had not to press the like button
Don't worry. I has chaperone.
Hey couldn't find water bottle to put margs in whole bottle in purse gonna stop and get cups and ice from starbucks and burrito from una mas want a quesadilla
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
I've gotta stop getting kicked out of bars for fighting with people over the accuracy of the Harry Potter movie.
Worst luck of my entire life. Came in my own mouth
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
Okay I take that back some girl just said pussy sweat. Get me outta here
didn't realize her mom was home while we were fucking, but she's oddly okay with it. she made us food afterwards. but then kept talking about having grand kids the whole time. is it time to bail?
Like an undercooked grilled cheese that got cold again. But hairy.
And there goes my desire for sandwiches. Forever.
It's like that thing with the devil and the angel except one shoulder has orgasms and the other has stuffed crust pizza and depression.
That moment during finals day when you either convince your teacher to let you out of the room or you shit you pants.
I have the rest of my life to settle down this is totally time for friends and pizza
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
long story short, he tried to fuck me standing up, toppled over, and now I have four stitches next to my eye
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