Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
she refused to get out of the dog cage till we sang "be our guest" to her.
OMG HAIR ON HIS DICK. HAIR ON HIS DICK AS IN GROWING OUT OF HIS DICK. HAIR.
the last call horn was blaring when I tried peeling you off the bathroom floor than you uttered "Ill take the toothless one.'
I apparantly wanted to name her baby garbage
we're decorating our christmas cookies with birth control. so pretty.
The fact that you're allowing Santa to dry hump your ass is sort of a dealbreaker
The smell came through my closed door. His farts are made of rendered tires, and apparently, ghosts.
Just so you know my hand is still healing from where you drunkenly clawed me last Saturday
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
please tell me you're the one making all the weird noise in the yard..
How do I send someone an apology text for giving them a lap dance in the middle of a party last night?
If you think I'm not petty enough to drive to your house at 3 in the goddamn morning just to punch you, you underestimate me.
I like shiny stuff tho if that’s an emotion
Randomize
