he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
apparently when the FedEx truck drove by, we tried to chase it down thinking they were delievering a 30 pack...great night.
You told me when we were leaving the club if I could pin point your nipple through your padded bra you would show me if I was right.
Good lord, they've set up every firework to be ignited by a trail of gasoline at midnight. God save us all.
I knew as soon as I saw that pole that I was going to wake up the next morning with bruises.
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
If I die, I leave all my liquor in my apartment to you. Be a drunk bitch at my funeral. I wouldn't want it any other way.
I used to not like fucking fat girls but with her gut clapping against her boobs, its like a standing ovation ever time.
I forgot to tell you, the medics put you in a wheel chair. ( I kept telling you to cat daddy) oh you also gave everyone high fives for speaking English.
I came home to him frying bacon to put in his beer. He said bacon beer lights, taste the awesomer rockies
I'm not sure... How do you tell someone who was so smashed they couldn't remember shoving their dick into the fireplace that their mother actually witnessed the whole thing?
Think I have the only job where I can be naked in a room with my manager at work. Apart from hookers
I can't remember what I did last night, but judging from the state of my hair I had a pretty good time.
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
I went to the nurse and she literally told me I was too sexually active and wrote me a prescription for 7 days of pelvic rest...... Hahahhahaha
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