She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
Sorry I had passed out by this time I think, with the chicken fingers ON my face in my bed, with all the lights on, and ketchup all over.
Apparently suggesting that she was the kind of girl who might be expected to kill someone's pets hurt her feelings...
If he breaks up with me, your job is to keep me drunk and make sure I don't sleep with anyone. Ok?
If I drank a glass of water for every drink I had I'd die of water intoxication like some tweaked out looser at a rave
How did I roll 7 times this month and survive?\nI must be some sort of ecstasy goddess
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
i’m just listening to christina aguilera’s “your body” on repeat and trying not to pass out at my desk.
I gave him a BJ and he left. Coincidentally that's the name of my memoir.
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
He passed out before we could have sex. I had no choice but to use his boner to hold my onion rings.
This is why I can't take dates to shows... I've literally made out with everyone in this band. And two of the guys in the crowd. And the bartender.
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
Never thought I’d use my computer science degree for teledildonics, but here I am
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