so whenever I text yeah my phone automatically corrects it to yeahhhheeehhyeahyeahh .. too much party in the USA?
Piggyback rides are my preferred mode of transportation.
she left out the fact that she had a kid until she told me not to suck on her tits too hard or milk would come out.
just saw way to many penises for it being 5 o'clock on a thursday
You'd be surprised at how many crooked penises are out there
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
i'm going as a slutty football player, and all night i'll drunkily whisper "id love to catch your balls." into random strangers ears.
But I mean, have you ever just LOOKED at how majestic penises are? They are like ivory columns of pure wonder!
God gave me a talent besides one night stands. I feel like I should use it
SO DRUNK
PUKED IN DRIVEWAY
TELL PARENTS SORRY
I swear to the sweet baby jesus I didn't fill your freezer with salsa and my little pony toys, but I didn't stop them either.
Sharknado 3 is going to bring us to alcoghol poisonign
We just finished having sex and as soon as we get out of bed he yells "trust fall" and runs me over
i was so blazed last night that i kept imagining a talking eagle sitting next to me encouraging me to smoke more... i listened to it.
Randomize
