Me too!
Soo i just shotgunned a water balloon...
i told my grandma i broke up with my boyfriend. her reply " you need to play the field more anyway"
I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
Took it a bit far last night. While leaving his house, I sent myself a text that said, 'you're still pretty"
Dude they have your information. Come back. The sheriffs office is here, they are pissed..please come back otherwise jail is inevitable. Call me
You said "sustain yourself" quietly over and over as you fed joeys hamster cashews. Acid you is a trip
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
The compounded multi day delayed hangover hit me hard today, with a vengeance normally reserved for large objects that go in my ass. I don't feel good.
Banana suit guy has an entourage and they're all douchebags. There is no god.
Yeah. That's the shitty part. God, I don't want to be a step mom. Sure I'm great with kids, but I just want unlimited sex and not have to worry about making friends with a fucking 7 year old.
The housekeeper found my huge dildo under the bathroom sink, and another in the living room. I can't get much more single than this.
Update on my sex life: my calves are sore from masturbating too much. It's a thing. Look it up.
We go out and drink, fuck, and I stay the night. He agrees to it because he knows I'll hook him up to IV fluids in the morning. Everyone wins
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