Can we have unprotected sex soon?
Don't quote me on that, I'm a walking boner
I then asked the hardee's employee: mam, do you mind if i pay 75 cents in cash and then put the 1.13 on my debit card.
Don't leave without me in the morning. I keep scaring everyone cause I'm sleeping in the bathtub.
cutting back on calories before spring break by only taking shots instead of drinking actual drinks.
the diet of an alcoholic...
Sunscreen. In my vag. I hate summer sex.
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
How do I politely say my vagina is not a chew toy and if you bite me again I will slap you?
You could say take it easy, whoa there, be gentle, anything that doesn't fully convey the horror.
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
It's like that thing with the devil and the angel except one shoulder has orgasms and the other has stuffed crust pizza and depression.
We got stuck in traffic in the tunnel while we were smoking weed. We were afraid to air out the car.
He surprised me with a puppy tail butt plug in his ass and wants me to fuck him
I'm kinda sad I'm leaving the bank. I never got to have rough sex in the vault.
Lobby closes at 2 AM on Thursday, but everyone walking still wants food... I could run a "Taco Bell Taxi" when I clock off at 2 and charge a dollar to give drunks a ride through drive thru.
Someones thought of a way to afford tuition.
Randomize
