I woke up fully clothed on top of my sheets and i didnt even pee myself..so proud.
You know how my eyes change color? Well I noticed after I hook up with someone my eyes are greener.
Wow, so you're like the Edward Cullen of sluts.
Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
thanks for not screaming that I'm pregnant when that guy was giving me his number.
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
At my wifes high school reunion. Found out her nickname was 'Back Door Brooke'. EVERYONE is calling her that.
Yes I have a handle on life. A handle of Svedka.
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
I just asked him what would happen if my boobs fought crime. I think I'm cut off.
I still can't believe a guy pooped in my backyard
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
Apparently the cops had to handcuff me in order to get me to come with to the hospital with them. They asked me if I had had any experience with handcuffs before and I replied, "Only in bed." What a life
We can use the Mac n cheese as the potatoes in our breakfast burritos. Problem solved.
Randomize
