His stupid grin looks like he's mid-ejaculation
new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
i would only ever fuck harry potter if he was on a broomstick.
Drunk sex destroyed my coffee table... ikea this weekend?
I know it's pride week, but your asshole is just never supposed to taste like banana.
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
When you give the bridesmaid toast someday at my wedding I need you to quote Ricky Bobby in some form. And slip in your sister has the vagina of awesomeness. That is all.
I say go for the trifecta and maybe you'll get a medal or something. Or a baby. That's like the same thing right?
How was my weekend? I just blew my nose and a gram of coke fell out. My weekend was fantastic.
I just got caught impersonating a t-Rex by my boss. Sadly he wasn't fazed by my behavior and acted like it was normal.
I feel like satan and death had a baby that took a shit that replaced my brain.
I stole a tiki torch last night and just returned it. Things have been better.
Every person I've ever had sex with is in Chipotle right now.
You're a disaster
Wanna date?
You look wasted in ALL of the pictures I just saw you in.
That can't be good for your liver!
Thanks for caring mom.
Randomize
