She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
the cashier at riteaid just made the sign of the cross before he rang up my pregnancy test. now i know god is on my side
I just got cut off for correcting the bartender's grammar. I should have never accepted that fucking editors position.
Blowjobs in the shower are a lot like blowjobs not in the shower. Awesome.
we just plugged the camera up to the big screen. would you like to come see what you did last night, in high definition?
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
i seriously haven't spoken to him since i drunk dialed him and told him i loved his beard
Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.
I was really proud of me too last night! Found a discarded hamburger that I have no memory of at the foot of the bed. Instead of a Dude. I'm really growing as a person
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
She sent me a thank you card for not fucking her boyfriend...
As she came, she moaned Roll Tide. I kid you not.
Who the fuck just called me and played funkytown
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
Trying to decide if I'm relieved or disappointed that I didn't receive any fuck boi calls on nye
Randomize
