I am so fucking pissed, there are no Shamwows in the As Seen on TV Store.
Looks like you'll have to stick to jizzing in socks.
I puked in the cab and in my hair and he didnt even know
my dad just told me he wants a furry wall in the house... i'm proud and concerned
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
I just very easily got pretty high off of one bowl of shitty dirt weed. I'm a sad excuse for who I used to be.
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
Don't even start with me. You know damn well if you walked into a bathroom with two girls naked in the shower you would stay too. Regardless how drunk I was or whether or not you were my ride.
What section do you want to sit in? The screaming girls section or the "when you guys were popular I was straight and pretended not to like you guys" section?
so i woke up at six am and his bathroom was flooded. i think i fucked shit up in my sleep.
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
I love you. I would never turn you into a bear.
I'm eating cold pizza from work and drinking beer from a wine glass trying to decide if I want to shower or just rub one out and go to sleep. How have I ever gotten laid?
Because you're really hot before taking the time to actually get to know you.
Randomize
