fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
I think the waitress doesn't beleive I have friends coming. I've had 4 drinks and a large salad just waiting for you guys.
It's too hard to jack off and hold an ipad at the same time
At least drunk you showered before switching sex partners last night.
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
I'm still trying to figure out how you came back with chinese food, and a spoon covered in icing saying 'cake..'
You are not about to raise that baby deer, you can BARELY raise yourself... Return it to it's mom now.
Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon
I don't remember much of last night. But I woke up with very apologetic texts from him this morning so apparently I didn't get laid. Which is stupid.
I just creeped on air mattress guy's facebook and discovered his ex is the trifecta of evil: tiny, cute, and blonde.
Ps I'm glad our relationship hasn't progressed into having to get married so we legally can't testify against each other
So glad the long weekend is over so I can bring this bender to a merciful end.
He asked me the next morning if he fell asleep inside of me. Drunk is an understatement.
Randomize
