Who tried to make mustard cubes with the ice cube tray?
Don't fret. That vag would have consumed a lesser man.
why did they invent bidet's? your butt gets clean when your poop falls in the toilet and splashes up anyway...
took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
he told me he saved a turtle in the middle of the road.. i told him id be over in ten minutes...i mean he deserves a bj after that.
Did I show you my penis last night?
dude all you wanted to do was sleep under a bridge
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
does the cute hipster in the kitchen belong to you?
if not i want to bang those glasses off his face
Sorry for peeing on you and your bed last night.
LOL he's a hopeless romantic now? 🤔 I'd say giving him a bj in a freakin softball dugout isn't the most romantic thing but it still happened
I sprayed his whole room with my perfume and left lots of my hair on the bed. So now if he does bring her home, the bitch will know this territory is marked.
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
Randomize
