I hope you get used to having plenty of sperm because you're never gonna get any.
Mother fucker. I'm a 30J now. I'm fucking speechless
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Have to get circumcised. Doctor goes, "On the bright side, you can tell people your dick is too wide."
you came out with your cock in between the legs of a balloon animal. Maybe she'll think you have a sense of humor.
What kind of balloon animal was it?
I take pleasure in knowing how many gallons of booze we've put away in comradery.
I think we should measure in "bathtubs"
Nothing is worse than post drunken playoff baseball loss sex
Well if she's the kinda girl that doesn't want you after seeing a pic of your balls squeezed together, she's not the girl for you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's a man with a stuffed dog and a can of dog food on the L. Should I break it to him?
Best not to. Some people need their delusions.
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
Your choices in alcohol this weekend are thoroughly disappointing
My pants are on and I'm pretty sure I tried to throw them at someone.
I convinced her that there were two p's in Chipotle - the 2nd one was silent.
PS: bike ride of shame at 7am includes riding by kids waiting for the school bus #classy
Randomize