he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
Just remembered throwing your phone at your face in a half-drunk stupor the other morning when your alarm went off. Thought I should apologize.
Im sitting next to shitfaced santa at the cuse game. My plan to be on television is now flawless
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
Well he told me I'd never be a wizard, and so I responded with you'll never have a big penis. After that we both just sat there and cried.
i woke up with my wallet keys and phone missing and a treasure map to find them stapled to my shirt.
haha i know
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
Today's work quote "if I looked like you, I'd be sitting on everyones face"
I've seen you dance and let's just say its a good thing you don't have a small dick
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
I'm wearing a fleece onesie eating pop tarts on the train to work. Killing it.
Remember when I puked into a mesh garbage can in the middle of a meeting and told the clients it was "morning sickness"?
hahah yep
Well the are flying back here, it's been like 10 months, should I frame fake baby pics in my office?? Or too much?
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
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