I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
I asked you if you were ok and you said "dude I'm fine, I'm in the recovery position"
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Holy christ fuck what has my trainwreck of a life come to just blew a 17 year old so help me god
Mike is so stoned. I just heard him quietly mutter to himself "rock a piss" as he walked down the hall to the bathroom
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
i got her number while she was sitting next to her boyfriend. her actual number. i might be a superhero
Well, if you're getting/have gotten your dick sucked, you're welcome. If not, I tried. Step up your game, pussy. I pulled a MacGuyver and got mine. No excuses bro.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I found you walking along the street hammered. You walked up said hi and handed me a beer.
He was late, on account of he accidentally went to the Al-Anon meeting across the hall, and it took him 30 minutes to realize he was in the wrong room.
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
Drunk packed a lunch. Made two turkey sandwiches and threw in a bag of raw bacon. Gold star for the day drunk self.
The only reason you haven't shit yourself yet is because you don't like having fun.
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