worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
He fucking owes me dinner after I gave him head under the deck behind the bar.
am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
Cops showed up at 4 am to address a noise complaint and she called them pussies for not doing shots with us.
Fuck now we have to have sex
What?
In a bet, need to win
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
I ended up with a bullet proof vest and I still don't know his last name.
Babe. You eat pussy like a god warrior sent from a galaxy far far away to destroy female genitalia with new realms of pleasure. That's how I know your not gay.
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
My mother is even happier about me having a sugar daddy than I am
He took me out, we slept together, and he sent me home this morning with fresh cantaloupe. #husbandstatus
I'm basically doing the Walk of Shame without the added bonus of having sex last night. That doesn't look good on anyone.
My ovaries melted while we were talking. I almost told him I would suck his soul out through his dick
That would be a memorable parent teacher conference for sure
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