your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
You know, if there were no such thing as marriage, i don't think porn would exist.
I feel fat after drinking my meal replacement shake.
I added chocolate sauce, a bsg of m&ms and a crushed up brownie to make it taste better.
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It came up in court that I told the arresting officer my name was Thomas Jefferson, and I was born in 1776. I almost kept a straight face. Almost.
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
Lesson of the night: never take shots out of a bottle you found under a couch in a frat house. I have no idea where I am
You'd think the dry cleaners next door would be less judgmental for as much business as my theme parties bring them.
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i knew it was love when she pulled a beer out from between her boobs and offered it to me
she had a dildo shaped like a dolphin. she will forever be known as Flipper
I just realized that every possible way I walk to campus I walk by the house of someone I slept with
I have already put on my inside pants.
I blacked out in the cab last night... Cant remember getting in the front door, also i got into bed with my grandma.
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
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