But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
Did you pluck my eyebrows one night when I passed out?
Imagine the time you most wanted to kill yourself. Now add a room full of jail bait and no booze. Multiply that by a million.
chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
I took my shirt off and stood in the kitchen for an hour and a half talking to his parents about my tattoos
Dear female. Happy valentines day. If you have not had the pleasure of making love to me, please do not fret, I will get around to it soon enough. If you indeed have made love to me, then bravo, wasn't that grand! Perhaps we should do it again? Regardless, have a good day. This has been a public service announcement. Rock on.
They won't let us do straight shots of 151 since that guy lit his face on fire.
This is how my night is going so far. The bartender bought our last two rounds and I'm chasing a bee around the bar with a foam bat.
I don't know what to say to that. All I know is my vagina is trying to jump through the phone.
He didn't even realize I was drunk. He probably just thought I loved Torchwood so much that I no longer knew how to use my thumbs
He Dutch ovened me while I was hiding under the covers from his mom. Needless to say it did not end well.
He couldn't give me an orgasm, but he did give me a UTI.
I AM STRANGELY AROUSED BY THIS UNEXPECTED DEVELOPMENT AND I AM COMPLETELY OK WITH THIS.
Chicks dig it when you smell like bong water and frebreeze.
Randomize
