i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
remember when mike pissed in his pants and then put a double cheeburger in the pocketsss of said wet pants for "safe keeping"? yea drunker then that.
I was so high last night that i'm 89% sure my roommates set up an obstacle course for me and timed it. Not positive.. I think one of the challenges was pairing shoes
High as balls & about to be tanning. Helloooo 15 minute vacay.
Sorry, can't come over. I have to spend time with my niece. Her Dad ignores her and I don't want her to have male attention issues like you.
he saw my boobs and came all over himself... there goes my whole night.
well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
I legitimately just tried to piss above my head. I got to my chest at highest. There's piss everywhere.
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
eating jello out of the cup. with my face. while on the toilet. i am at my lowest.
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
There's a bus with a band full of dancing women in bras. I think I like it here.
He made me tacos after the sex. Best date ever!
Um so I might have accidentally on accident maybe blew up the bottom half of your truck...
I woke up with a jacket; in it passport, hockey tickets, sunglasses, credit card, bank transactions
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