i told him that if he starts being sappy its friends = off. he called me jerkface and drew on me w permanent marker. im either in love w him or we are twelve.
Dude, I just saw a sixteen year old girl in a catholic school uniform buying a pregnancy test... With a coupon!
Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
i ordered 12 mcnuggets at mcdonalds and ended up getting 20. for free. miracles really do happen when your high.
saw a pregnant woman in a bridal gown standing on the side of the road while her car was getting searched by police....cheers to new beginnings
I hope your pay increase has gone through because I might need bail. This is not what I dreamed adulthood would be like.
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
Did you survive the Atlanta roadway snowpocalypse?
All the bars are closed. Might as well be dead.
His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?
i just need to find someone who enjoys eating frozen waffles as much as I do. It will be perfect.
Hmm, peanut butter and Xanax. Next Ben and Jerry's flavor.
Listen, if I miss the flight to Vegas because she's still rimming my ass, it will have been worth it.
Do you think you could cook pancakes while i blow you?
Apparently when you start crushing adderall and blending them into your margaritas calling them blenderalls you have "a problem" WTF
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