Screwed.edu
I got so high that I decided to drive with my knees on the way home. Where am I going in life?
Nowhere
I knew I shouldn't have slept with her...my dick looks like a stegosaurus tail
It smells like someone died in our apartment and ya'll used some random orifice of his body to smoke weed out of. Side note, how did we get a guitar?
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
Actually it's really just going to be me drunk in your living room swinging from a pole on a tuesday morning.
Just turned your apartment into a democracy and were voting on who takes shots next
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
i woke up in just my socks. my clothes were outside, he had rugburn on his elbows, and a window was broken.
I really want some funfetti cake but I feel like its more socially acceptable to go out and drink
He spilled some of his beer on your shoulder then proceeded to lick it off. By the face you made, I don't know if you were completely horrified or really turned on.
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
Either it didn’t do much damage or I’ve lost all feeling in my asshole
Randomize
