Michelle found a bong in the garbage and sold it to my mom
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
My afternoon will now be spent googling genital warts. I think my life is over.
I'm gonna make a mold of your dick so I can make popsicles
I'm lying here drinking water from a shot glass..moving is not an option right now
A beer is a heart your wish makes!!!
Tried to make hash outta one of those keurig machines. I don't know why. Maybe the drunkenness, but now I have mushy bud and no ganja
You wanted to go find him and we told you to sit down cause you kept stumbling. You yelled " I CAN STAND!! It's the walking part I can't figure out!"
I joined the mile high club last night. I ran a mile while high on coke. It was glorious
We fired a shoe out of a medieval cannon. I know not where we got either one.
Question for you. Do you want to go out somewhere or do you want to have sloppy joes at my house? That's not a euphemism for anything; I actually have stuff to make sloppy joes
As a gentleman whose genital hole is relatively small, you could imagine my reaction
You called your ex, and talked to her for an hour about how you miss her, came back inside and asked the girl with the biggest tits if you could take a pic with your face in them and sent her the picture.
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
I found my parents stash of sex toys. You know my green one? My mom has it...in purple. I HAVE THE SAME VIBRATOR AS MY MOTHER
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