i love that you felt the need to clarify that you don't actually have drugs in your vagina.
Admitting I go to nursing school is my subtle way of saying, yes, I know every muscle in your penis and how to effectively use them.
I think he finally resigned to the fact he could not get off. He just looked at me and said "I'm having testicle difficulties," rolled over and passed out.
Time flies when you're blacked out in a lake
I just want you to know that I'm, like, 45% hard right now.
I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.
The 4th is next week. If we don't get to a new level of high, we will be letting down George Washington.
It's a little weird that I'm blowing my wingman.
So what your saying is I can use her desperation to my advantage. Fuck, this must be how pretty girls feel.
who was i chillin with last night? i woke up in a storage unit
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
Being a slave to ur dick is exhausting.
I've decided to take one for the team and bang the landlady for lower rent.
I think my biggest regret in life is not banging you in the science museum
What is it in my brain that makes me look at a penis and think "that belongs in my mouth"?
Randomize
