I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
I wiped a tear off her cheek with my boner. It cheered her up
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
You kept throwing bottles at the dorm across the courtyard and when anyone told you to stop you just said "who are you? Al Gore?"
Only mom could turn an abortion day into a shopping day
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
My right boob is officially about a handful while my left is 1 and 3/4 handfuls. I'm staring at the mirror falling into a deep depression.
And then out of the blue she sent me a youtube video mashup of cats puking to techno music
Judging by the fact that he asked me if i wanted to serenade him using cocaine and Taylor Swift I'd say I so have it in the bag.
It's Been a while since I puked in vomit bush. I hope it doesn't feel neglected
All I got was pictures of my boss and dicks. So, that was the end of snapchat.
Life lesson: if a hot naked girl tells you to spit on something, you spit on it. No questions.
now to finish some work and then i think i'll work out. or garden. or at the very least I'll continue eating frozen grapes and take more drugs
Scientific fact: if he makes a face like a demonic dog when he's fucking you, makes it easier to fuck without feelings.
I am going to bedazzle the shit out of your Basilisk costume.
Randomize
