I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
My sheets at my parents place are clean. No braveheart but I can paint myself, yell "freedom", and sword fight you with my cock. So come over.
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
So the bartender just told me that there was numerous people who saw me having sex on the rooftop last weekend. +1
The gym is handing out free condoms this week, motivation to work out this week?
Ideas I've had tonight: An entire movie based off the Pixar lamp jumping on stuff.
The cat be actin like a 2:30 am poop is the time to tell me all about her thoughts and fears in life. No bitch, this is definitely alone time.
There is a midget in cheetah face paint on a leash here
Side note: I just realized that I can make my hand warmers double as a heated push up bra.
CAPS.LOCK.AND.SPACEBAR.ARE.BROKEN.
bitch dont make me pour hotsauce in your vagina
Shut the fuck up! I can hear you having sex over Pirates of the Caribbean you moaning whore.
I'm that daughter that had to send her mother "DON'T GET SHITFACED" & yes, in ALL CAPS.
I feel a blackout coming on
Plz don't have me burst into your house saying you're late for re airport to rescue you from a fat girl again
That was 2 times
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