your drunk exhusband is tryin to get with my drunk exgirlfriend. i think its funny. if you still talk to him dont say anything.
we're not divorced.
alone in the kitchen at 4 am eating a hotdog.
I'm sooo using this pickup line: "Baby, its not the 2.5 inches... Its the 200 pounds behind it"
the bulge in his pants is not junk. its hair. trust.
I JUST GOT MY PERIOD AND MY VISA FOR LONDON GOT APPROVED! BEST DAY EVER!
Those are some awfully high standards for someone of your weight
She was stumbling around looking for her cat. She said i could help, but i had to call him by his jungle name
you sat in the middle of your kitchen floor feeding your dog blueberries one by one
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
She gives the worst handjobs, it was like raw meat on a cheese grater
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
We found him flat on his back, sobbing, 'fuck you stars' at the sky. No more everclear for Derek.
Dude, please tell me you know why there's a naked chick asleep outside my room.
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
If I told the doordash driver it's national nudity day, think he'd still report me for being topless at the door?
Randomize
