discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
You slow danced with your carpet steamer last night.
people at meijer look at you funny when you have 37 bottles of champagne in your cart.
I maybe just had sex outside in broad daylight. At a state park. Please be proud.
I gave up on alcohol forever for like 2 hours, that's got to be a new record
Found a girl that was gonna make out with 25 people for her 25th birthday. I was like #12. Made top half!
she cut her forehead open playing a drunken game of pin the tail on the donkey and now she's having a panic attack.
It's like when your main girl and your side girl start having their period in the same week
You are the most depressed sports fan I know
Now go get drunk with your fam and get back into ur christmas groove. No time for gonnorhea
Great, now even dream!me is a drunken borderline mess.
well i can officially check "have sex in a prius" off my bucket list...
You'd be proud...I've an early morning wake up booty call...he should be here around 6am ish...I told him to wake me nicely.
Fuck this virus. We’re finally back on campus but the bars suck parties are banned sports are canceled we eat in our rooms and can’t fucking hangout with anyone. I’m tired of virtual classes and involuntary celibacy
OMG IKR! It’s not college unless we’re puking in a toilet wondering if we’re pregnant or just hungover!
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