my 3 year old cousin just woke up screaming "IT WON'T GO DOWN!'
doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
You look at her and you just know the only action she's gotten is from her tampon..
just woke up on my balcony. who won the super bowl?
Hey, I can't find my bed frame. Do you know who took it?
What's the appropriate way to phrase "If you ever leave your wife give me a call. But we can still have sex periodically until then."??
To tired for the bar. Came home and drank wine out of the bottle. Kind of don't want to know what that says about my life.
The staples of my diet are Labatt Blue, Xanax, and brick cheese.
I should have never moved out...
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
She asked for references to decide whether she wanted to have sex with me. And she was serious.
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
debating what would be more effort, turning on to my other side or trying to get myself off with my left hand. that kind of lazy day.
Congratulations, you have turned my vagina into a garden hose.
How do you nicely stand up a date that you're skipping for a 3sum
I'm gonna adopt her diet plan of secretly sleeping w a desperate ex... It combines excersise & loss of appetite due to guilt
Randomize
