You should get sea herpes
I mean sea horses
I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
Using the ceiling fan to slice the hotdogs in mid-air can only be contributed to our liberal use of 1800.
My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted.
Just spent 15 minutes trying to save the life of a fruit fly that dive-bombed my coffee. I figured it doesn't make sense to let two souls die in this place...
I suppose we should both be prepared for the secret service to come visit us after this conversation. Hi NSA.
I think it was a low point but honestly at this point I've had so many that my life is like a valley
I CALLED IT A FRIENDSHIP. NOT A I WANT YOUR MAN PARTS IN MY LADY PARTS-SHIP.
I need to start a penis folder so I stop "accidentally" showing people my junk. On a side note- St. Pattys penis was a hit, four leaf clover and all.
i black out too much to be "responsible"
Ugh. It's days like these that make me wish my bad habits would kill me faster
I'm gonna ask his dad. Weed trumps broken heart any day.
Randomize
