just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
apparently he's bringing me two things i like. he said one was him and i'm assuming the other one is his penis
On the plus side this hangover is the tipping point that finally convinced my lazy ass to get some sunglasses.
She passed out in his mom's bed and when we went to go get her she went 'no its cool I live here'.
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
You are a special snowflake. A special snowflake I wouldn't mind rough sex with
She needs sedatives and a leash
Trust no bitch in laser tag. Not a single one.
I should probably stop recommending my dentist to the different guys I'm seeing. That could be awkward in the future.
I was gonna make a strong case for you to be my midnight kiss, but poptarts sound good too
i got pulled over completely sober but looking like death. dick cop made me do a field sobriety test. he also said "no sober person could have 7 BK bags"
I think the God that I only kind of believe in, definitely hates me.
Randomize
