is it sad that pink shorts and cowboy hats remind me of getting jizz in the hair?
I tried to go shot for shot with some guy called "shit show martinez"
Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
while being fingered today, I was told I have an abnormally deep g-spot. Now you know, I am a size queen because of SCIENCE.
Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
I'm wearing a real bra and real shoes. I look like a fucking lady.
A man that refers to my vagina in third person is a man after my own heart.
i'm calling it my monica lewinsky shirt now. may it live forever in infamy.
Do you think blood ever gets sick of carrying all these drugs around?
Like, there are so many different things we make it do, and it just wants to settle down and be a one-drug fluid?
Stop reading WebMD high.
I asked for my Beats earbuds back and he sent me a pic of them tied around his penis. Now I miss both my great ear buds and his great dick
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
Thanks for the reference. If your boss hires me, I'll buy you a drink.
If my boss hires you, I'm going to need it.
While he was fucking me, he just stopped and said, "Mike says Hi." Then proceeded to fuck me.
What did you do?
What do you say to that!? But, when I came, I screamed out my full name.
He can be a kind, caring soul but also give in to the temptation of eating unicorn ass.
Randomize
