you puked in the cab and all over yourself and tried to convince the cabby it was there already when he got upset... then you puked again. not too convincing are you
It was like my butthole was peeing. Felt comforting yet not fulfilling.
Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
My dad just came home, said hi to mom and me in the kitchen, and then said "I'm gonna go inject my blood with iguana saliva".
It was not a dingleberry, it was a dinglemelon
If I don't have herpes this will be the single greatest day of my life
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
I'm sorry for peeing on your door. But it was your decision to open it.
No, the moral of my Oxford interview was "Never snort caffeine pills".
I think my brain has decided it's boycotting life until it can do whatever it wants.
It doesn't count as "finding the lesbian" if you fuck a straight girl!
You put THAT much Jager in me and expect me to realize when things are a bad idea?
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
i havent showered for 4 days and i just made my dog smell my arm pit. also, im stoned.
Randomize
