I'm taking a dump and eating a fortune cookie and it said "Force it to be successful"
But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
"Shots" has been nominated for a grammy. Now all of the US has sunken to our level...
if pee wee herman would have taken a snuggie to the movies he wouldnt have gotten caught
I swear my cock is like a magnet to my friends younger sisters mouths.
Just traded a samurai sword for some drugs. It's gonna be one random ass night
Well if my looks don't work with her I'll eat the 50 nuggets to impress her fat roommate.
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
Mike showed up naked and in handcuffs. Again. Feel free to come over and laugh because I'm not helping this time.
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
Matt's offering to breast feed it.
That kid singlehandedly fucked the breakup right out of me. I'm only hooking up with Millenials from here on out.
Two questions: Did you enjoy your birthday present and how did i wake up with glitter all over my dick?
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
Randomize
