I mean she's dancing like an epileptic patato and i'd like to slap her
i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
Her "get-your-paper-done-early-blowjob" incentive is the thing that has successfully deterred my procrastination
I lost my virginity in that bed. You just layed in history.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
he had to chose between the booze and condoms
what did he choose?
the booze, then looked at me and said, plan b is free right?
Olympics start in one day, that gives us 24hrs to think of gold medal worthy drinking games
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
I just pull a splinter from the head of my penis. It was a rough night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it bad if one of my goals right now is to snort blow through a licorice?
Don't answer that. It is bad.
It is officially Christmas time in Chicago. There's a drunk hobo on the CTA singing the first 2 lines of Frosty the Snowman over and over and over.
I'm laying in bed listening to Purple Rain on repeat. If you wanna bone, come up, but if not, at least Prince understands me.
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
OMG -- There are strippers in the bathroom crying because their power moves aren't good enough to win the competition
I am talking to a naked lesbian about robots. I think this means I win life.
Randomize