theres a dog humping me and im not going to stop it... i really need to get laid.
hot girl, 5 o clock
do you know how to read a clock?
Managed to convince my mom that I had been home for 3 hours sleeping on the couch downstairs and this t-shirt was your dads. I am SUCH a fucking boss.
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
We were eating hotdog buns dipped in French onion dip in lawn chairs at 4am. That drunk
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
I always congratulate people on their vaginal emancipation.
Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
We're over by the bouncy castles. I'm the one wearing a baby. Bring Twizzlers.
Have you ever just like not slept in so long that everything looks like a lava lamp?
I just found weed in my bra #magicboobs2k16
i woke up wearing a life jacket, holding on to a footlong hotdog, and had on a mr. hustle 1995 shirt on
good night
I seriously just had to blow dry my thong.
Is that strawberry winking at me??
Got baked and laid and ate baked lays when I laid down while baking the brownies I I’m Superman
You’re still high, aren’t you?
Oh yeah
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