We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
I have officially tracked lube all over our house on the bottom of my socks without knowing it. Don't slip when you come in
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
I threw up for like 20 hours. Im gonna be the DD for the next 5 years.
Is it a bad thing that I'm trimming my nose hairs in anticipation for the 8ball to be delivered?
He rubbed my back afterwards. I forgot how to talk and I legitimately thought I was a cat for a few minutes.
Legitimately sent a work email with "Hey, you kids, get off my lawn" as the subject line.
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
All my female reproductive organs were screaming HELL YES last night.
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
I'm too drunk to make ramen. What the fuck is this.
Its because she suspects I'm a frequent drug user, which I am, but I am going to make her feel like she is crazy for believing it.
Randomize
