genius idea. im gonna paint my penis green like the serpent of sex
fyi, we didn't break up, we just downgraded to occasional sex without ever talking about it.
we need 14,000 post its to execute this plan
dream priorities were more important than voting today. don't tell me you wouldn't keep going back to sleep to find out who would win a fight between oprah and godzilla
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
He hasn't texted me back since last week when we sexted. I think telling him I wanted to choke him with chains was a bit much for our first time.
You keep talking about hotdogs and yelling "COME ON DOWN, LET ME SEE WHAT YOU'RE WEARING"
I don't think I'm gonna survive today. I don't remember how to walk. I must crawl 6 blocks to my bed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
Never admit to being cold at those things. That is how you end up waking up the next morning naked under animal pelts... or so I have heard.
Just threw up mid-poop. I can't drink like I used to.
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
We all love a big dick, but you’re going to develop a reputation if you keep asking every guy at the bar ‘how big your dick’
That’s all I’m saying
We’ve got a propane heater on our back porch if you want to come over and eat a McRib in peace
Randomize