He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
I think someone spiked my drink last night. .. Like all 20 of them.
Im gonna name my vag after egypt, "the valley of kings"
Do you think there is vodka in heaven?
you let me eat a milky way from your vagina. G is not lettin you hang out for eternity
dude, i was at the student union last night trying to study but some retarded sorority spent an hour voting on the color of the seasons shirts like it was a UN meeting- someone motioned purple, someone objected, and half an hour later after 2 recounts they decided on purple
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
I WALKED myself out of breath. And I'm lost I'm a Tim Hortons parking lot. That's how hungover I am.
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
Yeah, he has a kid now! Shit... You know you're all grown up when the people you used to have threesomes with become parents
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
Maybe we should invest in one and when one of us wishes to be a hot mess in a wheel chair the other one will push the mess around to wherever it wants to go.
You don't care if I shave my legs, but you insist I be conscious for sex. Whatever. I really think your priorities are out of whack.
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
omg so there's this guy on the roof and he just stripped for no reason and now i think he's making out on the rooftop with some other guy? who are these people
He serenaded me say anything-style with Weird Al songs and then blew me on the beach. I'd say he's a keeper.
Randomize
