we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
i sneezed during and he said it felt like i gave birth to his dick...then asked me to do it again.
he said i took off my shirt and wrote "help HATI" on my tits, and charged people to motorboat me..... i'd like to say i woke up with 267$ in my purse
The best time of year to be high is WHEN THE KING CAKES ARE HALF OFF BECAUSE MARDI GRAS IS OVER YEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
He said he had to make up a lie of why he couldnt sleep with her. It must really suck to have a sunburned dick.
There are taser marks on me. Your face flashed before my eyes when i woke up and saw them.
Just came out of my room at 8 AM to find 2 pounds of raw hamburger and a half eaten cake strewn across the hallway. And I'm not surprised at all.
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
Also while I am being the bigger person I plan on bringing over something strong smelling and/or alcoholic to torture the poor hungover bastard
I was woke up by the fucking Star Spangled Banner this morning. I sat up in bed and put my hand over my naked heart. I was so confused
The last thing I remember about last night was guzzling white zinfandel out of the box and eating cheese. And I was thinking OH YOU FANCY HUHHH
I already tell everyone in my office my bf is at the Naval academy. It slipped one time and I can't go back on it now
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
Jamie's fucking a senior citizen and I'm eating chips and salsa in the shower at 2am, so whatever you're doing it can't be worse.
Randomize
