oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
I had to have the lights off to hide my face. I was laughing so hard I almost peed in her mouth
Why am I a bad person? You were the one trying to get people to eat tape.
I apologize in advance for attempting to drunkenly hookup with your sister
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
If anyone could figure out how to pee on someone's soul, it would be you.
You always know what to say to make me feel better.
its not that I hate him, it's just that I wish his penis was attached to someone i like more
He also turned out to be underage (the fucking liar) so we had to get drunk on cooking sherry
because. if I can't sit outside naked and eat my watermelon every morning then I really don't see the point in moving in with you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Note to self. The tub labelled "not water" does not contain water.
Did you take the bag w/your drugs & cookie cutter?
Went home with a male stripper who looked like Justin Timberlake.. I started singing cry me a river mid sex. When he sang along I fell in love
You're officially the most high maintenance man I've ever had inside me.
I'm pretty sure that cute cop drove me home. Especially since I found his card in my purse.
I told him he had to put his dick inside of me at approx 1159 to ensure it was birthday sex. i was 19 when he entered me.. came out 20. winning.
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